Comrade Trumpski today announced the successful rescue of American freedom from the exhausting burden of being exercised.
Under the Protective Custody Initiative, liberty will remain safe from protesters, journalists, voters, judges, librarians, teachers, and other unauthorized civilians whose repeated use has damaged the finish.
Citizens remain completely free to agree, applaud, donate, purchase commemorative merchandise, and await further instructions.
Freedom has never been safer. Freedom has also requested an attorney.
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