Decree 001 · Department of Maximum Freedom
Liberty rescued from dangerous civilian ownership
Freedom has been placed in protective custody until the public learns to use it more responsibly.
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State Archive
Every surviving truth, arranged in the order the regime currently remembers it.
Decree 002 · People’s Treasury
Billionaires accept terrible burden of governing without election
Patriotic oligarchs volunteer to transform public influence into a private subscription service.
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Decree 003 · Ministry of Agricultural Loyalty
Historic harvest achieved after workers disappear
State television confirms the crops are thriving immediately outside camera range.
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Decree 004 · Bureau of Strongman Friendship
Peace secured through beautiful exchange of compliments
Comrade Trumpski obtains historic concessions from himself while foreign strongmen leave satisfied.
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